MAWsicle melting in Portlandia

My name is Melissa, and I'm 19. If there is one thing you should know, it's that I just really love turtles and I have an obsession with creatures with smashed faces. Boston Terriers and Pugs especially.



An anime convention saved my life. I will never forget that. Because of that, I will be getting this hammer tattooed on me in the future to remind me that I'm a fighter. I consider Lavi Bookman from D. Gray Man to be my alter ego.
I have 2 tattoos. My first one is on my knees.
The second is an autism ribbon on my upper arm
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So I don’t know if other bisexual people have this issue but when ever I’m with a guy I’m just like “okay, dicks.  Dicks are cool.  Dicks are great.  But I could really go for a vagina right now” and then when I’m with a girl I’m just like “VAGINA YOU WONDERFUL THING I LOVE YOU AND DON’T GET ME WRONG BUT DICKS.” 

It’s a thin line between being a raging lesbian and being horrendously straight.

when melissa gets stuck on devil may cry she goes to the internet.

then she feels like and idiot because it’s usually simple things like jump over the motherfucking log or some bullshit.

I really want to hang out in my LOK tag but there are too many spoilers.

Melissa is violently ill. Melissa is not going to school tomorrow.

Melissa also forgot how to send an email too because it took her a few moments to send an email to her professors because she kept trying to “discard” it…

I swear to god it looks like a send button.  Of sorts.

I’m going to bed this is bullshit